Stormy Weather

I have oft' attempted to explain to people exactly what kind of weather is my favorite. I have done my level best to describe the warm breeze that make you shiver all over, and yet feel warm inside as it whips your hair in every direction, and makes the scenery move before your feet. I have radiated whilst enjoying such weather in ways that singing cannot even express. So often, when being blessed with the presence of the autumn winds and the stormy nature of the sky, I soak it in with joyful silence.

These bouts of weather that bring me such ecstasy almost always have something in common: tornado watches. Or warnings.
Apparently I'm a sucker for tornado-like weather, and even with the frightening chill of even thinking about what shocking disaster tornadoes can wrought, I cannot but help enjoy the thrilling excitement of such an adventure.

Even now, as I sit in the basement waiting for the tornado warning to pass, I can't imagine the possible harm that it could bring.
Ah well, I guess that would change if anything ever came of them, but for now and for always I rest in His care, and enjoy every type of weather He gives.

Dancing

One of the many things in life that is simple and yet hard to grasp, is dancing. Dancing is a word that covers a vast sea of hobbies, or actions.
I was once a dancer. I had a brief rendezvous with dance classes. I loved it. When I was dancing, the level of perfection I could muster with every move, the rhythm that I maintained while breathing was all unreal in a heavenly way to me. Things got in the way of my lessons, and I had to stop. This broke my heart, but I still love to move in rhythm with everything around me at all times. It's a compulsion for me that I adore, but probably couldn't stop even if I would like to.

I have since discovered yet another form of dancing. This new hobby involves moving in rhythm, creating something unmistakably beautiful not only to watch, but to hear.

Although very musically inclined, and very focused on audio, I have yet to learn the art of reading music. I cannot read sheet music, and do not even truly have a desire to learn. Playing by ear, or leaning a song by watching others play it is how I play. When I learn a harder piece than before, I have no idea how I play it. I just do. It is by God's grace, and I believe it is a gift to make up for my forsaken dance classes.

When you allow a loss of something valuable to you for the sake of your growing relationship with Christ, it will be worth it, and God will bless you beyond that stronger relationship.
James 1:5 says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you."
This is a tiny example of God's graciousness, His mercy, and His amazing generosity. I am nothing but thankful for everything He gives me, and my thanksgiving lasts beyond the titled holiday.


Thank you, God for your generosity. And for pianos.

Beyond Beauty

When you are weary is when your level of appreciation for the every day-the mundane will increase.

After a tiring day, to be able to just sit... to enjoy every breath of life is a beautiful thing. The noises around me are what impact me the most, and last night I heard the most beautiful thing I have ever heard.
Not to say that I had never heard this beauty before, but to have the honor of hearing it on multiple occasions truly humbles me, giving me such joy that I feel that I could simply radiate awed happiness. If you have never taken the time to realize that the noise I'm talking about is among the most beautiful sounds in life, then perhaps you should try to examine the blessings you do have a little further. I assure you that you have most definitely been privy to this melodious noise at some point in your life.

It is my opinion that the most gorgeous sound I have ever been witness to hear is that of my family's laughter.

A night of rest with my family gathered around a board game, laughing together in a unity that is indescribable, was only topped off with the breathtaking thunder outside our happy home.

Falling asleep to these sounds gives me more peace than any other earthly thing that God has so graciously blessed me with, and I rejoice with thanksgiving to God for every moment of joyous laughter that He has put into my life.

Trials

I suppose, though it has been a notably long time since I have written anything, this is probably an irresponsible time to write. When writing with only emotions guiding you, what comes out is most often irrational. Most postings on FaceBook, Twitter, or blogs are written by the emotions of teenagers. To write when one is emotional is to put your own irrational words down in ink forever. It seems to be the worst possible thing to do, but seems also to be the most common natural reaction for teens.

To write when I am struggling against depressive moods is definitely a bad idea, but writing down only what appear to be rational and clearly thought out ideas strikes me as an activity worth trying out. If I can push my maturity and rationality to the limit, stretching my own boundaries of remaining level-headed in the face of the unseen forces known by the depressed as waves of enemies that crash upon us at the most unlikely and unsuspected of times, then hopefully, I will have grown from this experience, and will be a better woman of valor for it.

I try my hardest to see complete joy in these regular trials, and have been doing better every time. The Lord is faithful, and He will always use the negative in positive ways for those who are willing.
"My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." ~James 1:2-4

Lord, I am willing, and I am praying on my knees the You will bless me with the humility and the endurance to run this race for You.
"Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air. But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified." ~1 Corinthians 9:24-27

Autumnal Joy

On the windy breeze of Autumn, I am swept away. The splendor of this glorious season calms and silences me. The importance of a single season's coming is paled in comparison to the immense pleasure I get from the enticing scent of the quickly arriving fall. The beautiful smells, the majestic sights, and the restful feeling of the chilly breeze all light me up inside beyond description.

I want to run.

I want to climb.

I want to rejoice with musical harmony.
Autumn is when the leaves begin to die and are blown away on the waves of wind.
Autumn is when I begin to come alive, and am renewed in spirit.
For some, Autumn is the end of Summer. The closing of something good and relaxing.  But for me, Autumn is just the beginning. The introduction to a new chapter in my book. The refreshing chill that surrounds the start of school. The beginning of hope.
What most feel on New Year's Day, I feel the day that I first sense Fall approaching, and that day, this year, is today.

I was born into this wondrous season, and that may or may not contribute to the sense of new beginnings I receive from it. But, no matter the cause, I am in love with this season that is given me year after year as a birthday gift from my Creator, and I wouldn't trade it for anything else in the world.

Breathtaking Precision

God, He made the sunset,
God, He made the sky.
He made all things so beautiful,
Although I don't know why.

He could have made it all the same,
No beauty anywhere.
But no, He went to special pains,
With never ending care.

Midnight Monsoon

It was so thrilling. So indescribably breathtaking. It was like a strobe light in the sky. A flash and the world lights up. Suddenly it's pitch black again and raining hard as ever.

This was a walk through the woods on a night like this. The creek was rising quickly and my brother was worried about the wooden segments for the bridge that he's almost completed. They were laid out by the creek bank, and the storm was picking up pace once again. Fear was settling about the waters sweeping the critical pieces for the bridge's finish away from us forever.
We set off. In the midst of a torrent, with lighting streaming from the Heavens nonstop. Getting soaked in a storm is my favorite type of adventure. The kind of adventure that will set my eyes aglow for hours. I cannot forget times like this. I look forward to holding this memory, but I can treasure it as a current event for now.

Stormy is my nature, and I prefer it that way. When it storms, I am tranquil, and when the world remains tranquil, I am stormy. I thank my Heavenly Father for making the heavens something unforgettable.

Reflection

I'm sitting atop a fallen tree, overlooking a peaceful, burbling creek at the bottom of the steep cliff that I am currently perched upon. There is construction of a bridge over the creek, connecting my perch with the lower path that leads out of the woods. The bridge is only partly completed, deserted until further notice by the boy who owns the forest. Not that he is in literal possession of it, but he knows it quite well and has spent many more hours becoming acquainted with the glorious place than I have. A fact that breaks my heart through no fault but my own. This part of me that is now sitting out here, enjoying the shade from my rainbow umbrella as I examine this quiet place is the part of me that so strongly wishes that I had enjoyed the security of these woods more than I did. In the waters of the creek I see a girl looking back at me. Quickly, she turns away, running out of the forest toward her companions. I had my entire childhood, and yet was better at suppressing my somber half than I am now. Back then, I never wanted to be alone. I hated loneliness. I feared it.

Now, being "alone" is not "loneliness." I have developed my walk with the Lord, now relying on His support more than the company of my siblings.

"Behold, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." ~Matthew 28:20

My Style

To be 100% honest, I've never liked writing. Perhaps it's a lack of patience. I always aim to make others laugh through physical comedy or unexpected words and/or actions, but there's another side of me; the quiet, deeply hidden person of the heart who only comes out when I'm completely alone. It's when I'm walking in the forest alone, or driving somewhere with just me and my Saviour to enjoy a serene time together. That's the side of me that I would like to represent through this blog. The blog that no one will read. For now at least.

When sitting in the forest, or sitting alone on campus, I feel as though I could and would sit there for hours. I can find beauty and entertainment in looking at the simplest of things, and rarely ever find myself "bored." I thank my Creator for this gift. The serenity of the flowing waters of a creek, or the wind blowing the leaves on trees will be an image I can savor for eternity, and while it's right there in front of me, I just love to soak it in.

The other gift that I am thankful for daily is the gift of music. I feel as though my brain were an MP3 player, or an iPod. I can turn on whatever song I would like to listen to or think about whenever I please. I hear every intricate detail, every note, every refrain. Not just vocals to music, but instruments as well. I can mimic almost every noise I hear, including voices and melodies to perfection. I also create harmonies, weaving in and out of music as if it were a dance within my mind. A dance that gives me immense pleasure to execute. Sometimes I find that my mental music box is set on shuffle, and I find myself listening to completely unrelated songs to what I started with. It's a very difficult thing to put into words, but at the same time it's delightful to me in an indescribable way.

Music and God are the things I am most passionate about. The only two things in my entire universe- my entire life that can give me chills, and my beautiful passion for music was a gift from God. That is the reason that using music to honor, glorify, and praise Him is the most precious thing to me in the whole world.
To sit and watch His creations in my backyard while glorifying songs dance through my head is such an awe-inspiring way to spend my time. I truly cannot think of anything that compares.

And that is me. Well, the less-known half of me. The part of me reserved for special occasions, and the part that I feel that I cannot share with others, lest it lose its peace and somberness.